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12 January 2009 @ 07:23 pm
Return from hibernation: Falling in love with love.  
So, this winter break and additional week of not doing much homework and playing lots of video games as well as of watching dramas, but mostly playing video games, has brought me back to livejournal. And since not many other people are updating, I might as well bring everyone back from hibernation, because, as we all know, I am the leader of trends. Hah. Yeah, take that.

So this past week, I was engulfed with the urge to rewatch a lot of the things I've watched before. And no, that does not mean melodramatic Autumn Tale, though that was one of like my first ever Korean dramas. I've gotten past it. What I mean is the stuff that really is good. Classic. And yes, one of them I did watch like 8 years ago. But that's not the point. Past the outdated fashion, it still is classic. But I digress. That is the topic of the next post, anyway. Or maybe it won't.

But overall, I got the impression that I was, once more, slowly falling back in love with this strange concept of none other than "love." How, you wonder, do you fall in love with an abstract idea? The phrase itself sounds like a riddle, but it really isn't. Honestly, children.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you were the protagonist? I have thought that many times - and no, not for shallow reasons like "Oh, the guy is so good-looking I wish I could end up with him!" No, not that. The story, the entire process that the protagonist goes through is in itself admirable. To be able to experience love is in itself an admirable experience. Wait a second. That last sentence was phrased perhaps a bit badly. What I mean is, love is a life experience that we should all experience some time in our lives.

Now, don't get me wrong. From my last few paragraphs you've been getting the impression that I want to suddenly be infected with leukemia and suddenly fall in love with someone I've been in a marriage contract with? No, no, no. Let's not go to Korean drama material. Once again, that is a topic for another post. Most likely tomorrow, unless I come up with a better topic to talk about.

No, any love is admirable. I wish I could experience so much with somebody like that in my life. I wish I could experience the pangs of maybe lost love (though that may not be preferable). This is a difficult topic to talk about - all my sentences are coming out weirdly phrased. Yes, I have the capacity to be able to love. It's just that I have not found/experienced that love yet. I wish I could.

Of course, I am not asking for the over-the-top, overdramatic, distasteful some times, and immature high school crush/love. Please. I'm talking about someone you could share you soul with. A soulmate. Someone fate has destined you to be with. Someone you could go to the depths of the earth and pass through millions of obstacles and still be together. Perhaps not in body, but at least in mind. Nothing can separate us.

But until now, I can only mope. Ah. If only I had a Mr. Darcy. I digress again.

On a side note, I got my "dream pillow" back. Yes, it's a pillow that I think induces me to at least remember my dreams more vividly because in a typical 6-7 hour sleep, you have a lot of dreams.

Maybe I'll elaborate on this journal another time. But the idea of love enchants me. Seriously. I wish I were in love. I do hope I fall in love some time in my life. If not, I will forever remain a Romanticist.
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➷ feonabrilliantglow on January 13th, 2009 04:01 am (UTC)
it seems to me that i always comment first (LOL). autumn tale<3 or "endless love" as my DVD boxset writes in english. so about love. over this past winter camp that my church holds every year, i learned something from my small group leader (but of course, i learned many things, lol). she told me that love is not an emotion but a lifestyle. i never thought of it that way. love as a lifestyle? meaning that love i watch in dramas are only one aspect of what love is as a whole? wow. (and in a christianity sense, the love that was displayed on the cross is mind-blowing) that is revolutionary to me. but i guess love can be separated into categories of showing kindness and caring for one another. that's love. so the prospect of falling in love with love is more than sharing with a soulmate, i think. but this is just one person's perspective. it's definitely a challenge to have the lifestyle of love.
A.xingjing on January 13th, 2009 04:18 am (UTC)
I find though, that true love is being portrayed as more and more carnal. It's unfortunate, actually. Lust is not the same love. And with the influence of today's entertainment industry, many have associated the two together. Attraction is not love. Love is sharing a part of yourself with someone else. It's cleaning out room in your soul for a partner.

That's interesting. Love is a lifestyle. Love can be an attitude too (in that case, it's called Romanticism). I think there are different loves in the world - of course, the Christian greater Love that you mention, as well as family love, love for your friends, and of course the soulmate sort of love.

However, I think there's a prerequisite for having love as a lifestyle. You've got to understand your love. You've got to understand that in love, there's a two-way relationship. While you yourself are being loved, you need to love back. They say love is selfish, but it's really not. The act of loving is an act of giving up yourself and sacrificing things for whoever you love.

Damn. I really do wish I find someone who can be my other half. LOL.
snowbaboon on January 19th, 2009 05:42 am (UTC)
Rofl. Love. Hah. Okay, it's okay. I'm a hopeless romanticist too. Kind of sad really.

I hope you find your soulmate, Jojoba. : D As so do I.

I actually thought I found my soulmate in Jr. High LOLOLOL. I KNOW. LAUGH ALL YOU WANT.

Hmmm maybe I should write a journal entry on this rofl.
voicelessdreamsvoicelessdreams on January 19th, 2009 05:59 pm (UTC)
): me too... but, looking around you don't see it much. it seems as if love escapes from our daily life, but always remains an urban legend. you've heard of REAL love stories, you've just never SEEN them.

i think all of us are actually romanticists at heart... and that may be a flaw or a strength.

i hope you find someone who fits your ideals and has a big heart :]